Was Barstool Chief Hacked By ISIS? What Is Going On Here?!?!
***WARNING: POSSIBLE ISIS PROPAGANDA AHEAD. TREAD LIGHTLY***
Don't say I didn't warn you. If you click that link, read the blog, and find yourself shaking your head in agreement, you are the reason the CIA spies on all of us. It is also a possibility you are a terrorist. Plain and simple, a terrorist and Chief is your leader. Because out of all 10 trillion people on Earth, there are probably 14 people who think sunlight at 6am is better than sunlight at 6pm, and the leader of that cult is Barstool Chief. And him trying to get people to believe that we are better off with the sun setting at 4:30 in the afternoon has me thinking he either:
1) Is on crack
or
2) Is an ISIS informant and we need to contact the CIA immediately.
There's really no other explanation for it. Yesterday I was at the office having a business meeting (just kidding, I was eating Chick-fil-A nuggets) and it was darker than a thousand midnights outside. I was looking for Kate and was told she was on radio. "At 7:30?" I smugly asked. "Dude...it 4:15" I was told. 4:15. And it's not even Thanksgiving yet. And this is Chief's wet dream? For it to be light outside at 3:30am and dark by the time you go get lunch? Only a crackhead or terrorist would want that sort of torture.
Plus like, logically speaking, having sun when you're out of work at grabbing drinks is infinitely better. There is nothing better than a rooftop drink at twilight. That sweet spot between the day and night, it's the best. You don't get that in the winter. Not even a little bit, not even if there's a fire.
Chief just wants to eat his burrata salad in pitch black at 3 in the afternoon. Wouldn't shock me if he's launching a Mr. Burns-esque mission to block the sun out entirely.
I reached out to Chief for clarification and he wants it on the record he likes the sun. I don't know what to believe anymore. Maybe he's a vampire? I didn't consider that possibility until right now. Have you ever seen him and a clove of garlic in the same room at the same time?
So what do you think? And are there any additional leads I should be following before it's too late?